YOU ARE IMPORTANT ENOUGH TO ASK AND YOU ARE BLESSED ENOUGH TO RECEIVE BACK.
For me this is personal.
When I was 23 years old a doctor told me I would never have children as she diagnosed me with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). At 23, children weren’t part of my plan but becoming a parent was definitely on my future agenda. Despite this blatant statement from a Doctor who didn’t know who she was dealing with, I definitely laid down some limiting beliefs about my parenting future.
When the time came to start a family with my husband Mark we expected the hurdles. What we weren’t prepared for was the journey of IVF.
IVF is tough, and without a doubt has been the hardest thing I have lived through. Nothing prepares you for the drugs, needles, tests, and countless medical appointments. Then there’s the hormones, the emotions, the desperation, isolation and feelings of failure which overwhelmed me on a monthly basis. Even writing this brings it all back and reminds me of the overwhelming emotional stress we were under.
At the end of it all, including many stim cycles, an early miscarriage and 9 embryo transfers, never mind the dollars or emotional stress, we were blessed by the miracle of our son Charlie George 4 years later.
There are no words.
It was a miracle on so many levels.
Firstly my marriage remained intact.
Don’t get me wrong we had our moments and the whole process definitely challenges the relationship on many levels.
Creating a new identity. Until IVF I was a career girl, working crazy hours, travelling the world but loving my job. My entire identity was wrapped up in my career and when it came time to step away from it for a while I lost my balance. Then there was the “will I won’t I be a mother” and then “ if I’m not, who am I” questions which plagued me.
After all was said and done I had a clearer sense of who I was and what I wanted to do with my life irrespective of whether I became a parent or not. I never would have expected to get to this point.
Self-care is such an important part of Fertility Treatment. Pumping your body full of all kinds of drugs and hormones can play havoc on your physical and emotional self. Natural therapies, a change in diet and lots of distractions definitely saved me. Taking time out to enjoy simple things such as a walk, a good movie (often on my own whilst the world was at work) and a great catch-up with a friend were the little saviors along the way. Then there’s talking about it. So many go through this alone and without the support of family and friends. Whilst the decision to talk about it with others is personal, for me it was the only way I could get through it and I was not ashamed to discuss it. It became an opportunity to teach.
Learning to surrender. I got to a point where no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make it happen. As each month delivered a negative result I wasn’t prepared for the feelings of failure. At some point I had to give in and just let something else take over. Thankfully I’m a spiritual junkie in a mainstream kind of way and I learned to let go and trust in something bigger than myself.
How will Fertility Coaching help me you ask?
If any of this feels familiar a coaching session may help you find ways to manage these feelings and make some sense out of this crazy experience.
Of course if you are reading this my wish for you is a baby and the chance to become a parent, the same wish you have for yourself.
Coaching won’t guarantee you a baby but it will ease the process and offer you support throughout one of the biggest learning experiences of your life, no matter what the outcome.
Put yourself first and contact me for your fertility coaching support.
Love and light to you.
Click here to see what one of my clients has said about her experience
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